Same Team, Same Dream: How to Align Your Relationship Around the Big Picture

Every strong relationship has one thing in common: alignment. In this episode of The Freq Show, Jaclyn and Sam open up about how they’ve learned to stay on the same team—even when life gets busy, stressful, or uncertain.

They share the tools and practices that keep their marriage anchored in the big picture: shared dreams, core values, and intentional communication. From handling conflict without losing connection to celebrating small wins along the way, Jaclyn and Sam reveal how unity fuels both love and purpose.

If you’re longing for more partnership, clarity, and vision in your relationship, this episode will encourage you to stop fighting the small battles and remember—you’re on the same team, building the same dream. 

Chapters

• 0:00 Introducing the Episode Topic
• 4:20 Early Marriage and Misaligned Dreams
• 10:00 Military Life vs. Music Dreams
• 16:22 Georgia Years and Growing Tensions
• 25:18 The RV Life Turning Point
• 34:42 Prioritizing Family First
• 40:27 Creating a Shared Vision
• 46:50 One-Year, Five-Year, Twenty-Year Goals
• 51:34 Closing Thoughts on Family Alignment

Transcript

Jaclyn
Hello and welcome to The Freq Show I'm Jaclyn Steele Thurmond this is Sam Thurmond and I guess we're winging it today I mean I'm winging it you're not cause you have the template but I don't even know what the topic is.

Sam
Yeah we're gonna wing it a little bit and I wanted to kind of come into this one with you blind because I just wanna have like a conversation you and I versus you know talking to the camera.

Jaclyn
So this is a behind the scenes.

Sam
Yeah a little bit I think just a one I think it's a good conversation for us to have and two you know I think it'll be helpful for folks so I'll just jump right into it but let me remember what we're talking about but so.

Jaclyn
We have a lot going on right now guys this episode's probably gonna air the end of August and by that time we'll have another baby but we're banking some episodes so that we can be super consistent with the podcast but have that first you know month or two to just enjoy the baby and not have not have a bunch of interviews.

Sam
Yeah okay so I'll share the title of the podcast so we can start the thread right learning.

Jaclyn
I love you!

Sam
Learning so the title is Same Team Same Dream how to align your relationship around the big picture okay.

Jaclyn
Oh I love this.

Sam
And what I want to talk about today is vision.

Jaclyn
Okay.

Sam
As a couple as a family the importance of that of sharing the same vision to make sure that everybody's on board everybody's aligned and everybody's working toward the same thing okay so at the end of July we will have been married for 15 years 17 years together so we've experienced a lot newlywed life military life.

Jaclyn
Yeah your deployment.

Sam
Baby life music life corporate life entrepreneur life all these different phases of our life together lives together and so we've been through a lot we've been through.

Jaclyn
Lived in multiple states too.

Sam
Countless moves and starting over multiple times highs and lows in that journey now we're about to start baby No. 2 journey with a three year old so there've been all these different phases in in our life together over the last 17 years which has been incredible and I wouldn't trade it for anything but what I wanted to ask you today and I want you to be honest.

Jaclyn
Okay!

Sam
Is how would you grade us as a couple in regard to creating a vision for our family so far and I want you to think all the way back to the beginning too so not just how are we doing today I wanna kind of you know look in retrospect and say you know how did we do with this create you know you and I sharing a vision good whether it was good or bad or you know some good some bad which is well I won't even plant seeds but I want you to not just look back a year ago five years ago I want you to go all the way back to Biloxi Mississippi Keesler Air Force Base we got married.

Jaclyn
So in love!

Sam
We got married in front of a preacher and a couple of family members from that point on obviously we dated for two years before that but from that point on how would you say that we have done as a team as a married couple having a vision creating a vision and having a vision and being aligned with that so far.

Jaclyn
Not very well until the last few years yeah would you agree.

Sam
Well I want you to explain.

Jaclyn
So I feel like when we first got married I was much clearer on what I wanted to do even though my dreams were astronomically huge. You know I wanted to be in the music business and I think when I told you that you were kind of like “Yeah, Okay.” but I was like no seriously I really wanna do this.

Sam
Yeah!

Jaclyn
And I think you were less clear on what you wanted to do but you were also committed to the military so you didn't have a whole lot of choice.

Sam
Yeah and that and yeah and I think when we were dating you were kind of like either want to be an attorney or I want to do pursue music

Jaclyn
Yeah.

Sam
So those kind of too.

Jaclyn
Extremes?

Sam
Extremes yeah

Jaclyn
Does that is that indicative of my personality do I have an extreme personality

Sam
Well I mean I think it there was a practical plan.

Jaclyn
Yeah.

Sam
You know your dad's an attorney so you kind of grew up in that world and obviously that is a very structured safe I guess route to pursue you know everybody's gonna be like you know you're an attorney.

Jaclyn
Good job Jac!

Sam
Yeah you went to law school all that which you would have been an amazing attorney

Jaclyn
Thank you!

Sam
You probably still would but.

Jaclyn
My dad told me it's a waste of time now he's like do what you're already doing don't go to law school.

Sam
AI attorneys here pretty soon but yeah I think I if I'm being honest I think at that point in our relationship that early on I was probably like of those two options she'll probably be an attorney versus be a rock star you know what I mean because I also knew

Jaclyn
Well and you come from a very practical family

Sam
Yeah and but I also knew you too and don't take this the wrong way but you weren't giving off like rock star vibes from a lifestyle standpoint

Jaclyn
Yeah.

Sam
You know you were such a good pure young lady and it just my understanding or what my perception of the music industry and that life kind of I didn't see that aligning with you but you had all of the talent you have the personality you had the personality to do it but back to the what we're talking about I think it just I didn't expect that

Jaclyn
Yeah well I don't I think most people wouldn't expect that but I think going back to the thread I started with was I think you were much less clear on your career ambitions than I was I think you knew you wanted to have a family and you wanted to have security but beyond that I don't know that you looked much further than the military and I think had we not gotten married and had I not been that fly in your ear so to speak going hey what lights you up what are you really interested in like yeah the military is good and if you wanna stay in the military that's one thing but if you're not passionate about this life is way too short for us not to be going big and going hard.

Sam
Yeah at that point in time it I the military was as an adult all I knew and I went to an academy so that was my college experience as well so it was what I knew and you have a clear secure financially secure path to retirement you know and I think at that point in life I wasn't I didn't see my occupation as being like that important honestly I mean we were I was 26 you were 24 right is that right.

Jaclyn
When we got married?

Sam
Yeah.

Jaclyn
I was 23 I wasn't even 24 yet I was almost 24

Sam
Yeah so we were still just you know babes Young ins and I wasn't still wasn't really all that focused from a career standpoint but thankfully you had aspirations that were outside of the norm and I think that pushed me it certainly pushed me it did cause contention I mean.

Jaclyn
Oh for sure with us and our families.

Sam
Yeah.

Jaclyn
I think everybody thought I was kind of nuts but I was born with a fire in my belly to love my life in every aspect I always knew that it was possible I just didn't know how to get there but I always knew I'm going to do something that I love I'm not going to settle for anything less and it took a while to get there and it took trying multiple things to get there but I just I'm just not somebody who settles that either though either in anything.

Sam
That's true.

Jaclyn
Like you know I want to be the best at what I do and really exhaust my potential.

Sam
Yeah and so I think early on it was very hard for us to align on a vision.

Jaclyn
Extremely hard!

Sam
Because you had aspirations you had dreams that you wanted to chase you we were married we knew we loved each other we knew we were committed to each other but being in the military you're told what to do you're told where to go you're told what to wear you're told where to show up and there wasn't a lot of flexibility in that I was deploying every year basically.

Jaclyn
Yeah and so you think about that like I have very different aspirations than you do from the get go and that's a contentious thing in our marriage and then you deploy for almost a year at a time it's kind of a miracle that we're still together it shows how much we love each other and how committed we are.

Sam
Yeah and I think at that point in life your vision was to pursue your dream my vision was to create stability.

Jaclyn
Mmm hmm.

Sam
However that needed to happen and so the dividing line in there or the gap in there was for you to pursue music was kind of a great unknown especially for me that point so I guess we started out not on the same page.

Jaclyn
Yeah!

Sam
From a vision standpoint.

Jaclyn
Yeah.

Sam
Like drastically not on the same page.

Jaclyn
Drastically not on the same page.

Sam
Yeah.

Jaclyn
And I think really it's only been since we had Roman that we've really gotten on the same page because I remember like the beginning of 2018 and 2019 around New Year's Eve or New Year's Day saying hey like we can work together we can create this amazing business and we can renovate properties together and join forces and I know I'm really good at this and you're really good at this and I remember being so disappointed and feeling rejected by you truly because I feel like you didn't want to partner with me and so I think that created another 3-4 years of us professionally not being on the same page too and me just feeling like man what are we what are we doing because I was I knew Georgia wasn't the place for us to be long term you weren't particularly happy there I wasn't particularly happy there I was grateful for our home I was grateful for our friends and you know having some family around but I just knew like this is not the place for us to grow roots yeah there wasn't enough opportunity where we were.

Sam
Yeah.

Jaclyn
And so I felt very stagnant for several years.

Sam
I kind of feel like that period of time was both of us pursuing things but in a limited mindset limited way.

Jaclyn
Extremely!

Sam
You were pursuing music but in Athens Georgia in a small town you know known for music but not like Nashville or LA or something like that and I was getting I that's where I started in real estate but I didn't feel like I was equipped I had some self doubt myself and so I felt like I needed other partners in order to make it happen and so we were kind of I guess halfway pursuing our goals and objectives but not really aligned.

Jaclyn
No and I feel like if I'm truly honest there were multiple times during that first part of our marriage minus the last few years where I would be like hey I don't feel like we're aligned and I feel like we need to get aligned and I feel like you were pretty resistant and I don't know if it's because you just didn't know how to get aligned or you if you didn't know what that looked like but I feel like in my heart I was always like can we get on the same page can we have a plan for this can we have an exit strategy from where we're living right now because I'm just I feel like I'm withering away.

Sam
Yeah.

Jaclyn
And I feel like you were more hesitant to give me any kind of feedback or answer or direction.

Sam
Well I think I was in a position where I didn't want to I wanted to support you.

Jaclyn
Yeah.

Sam
But I also the pragmatic side didn't know how to fully you know buy in and I think that's an important piece to talk about both people buying in on the vision I didn't know how to fully buy in at that point because I didn't know how I was supposed to provide the provide the security you know I felt like that was my responsibility.

Jaclyn
Yeah.

Sam
And you wanting to go different places and pursue your dreams I didn't know how to do that and I couldn't see clearly how to do that while providing what I felt like I needed to provide.

Jaclyn
Yeah.

Sam
And so that was kind of like that was the hill that I couldn't see over mm hmm that was holding me back.

Jaclyn
Yeah and I think for me I very logically understood that but I also felt like we had make it made so many leaps up to that point you know moving to Idaho together moving to California together was a huge leap then moving back to Georgia was a huge leap and I was like we've done this before why can't we do it again.

Sam
Sure yeah I think well from marriage to Georgia that was a period of a marriage to leaving Georgia was how long was that period.

Jaclyn
We got married in 2010 and we left Georgia in 2 to 2020

Sam
So that was a ten year period.

Jaclyn
Mm hmm.

Sam
Yeah and I think if I zoom out I think it was a 10 year process do you know what I mean like it was a 10 year process of step by step okay step one you get out of the military we move to California.

Jaclyn
Mm hmm.

Sam
There were some struggles there in multiple areas then we moved to Georgia started over in Georgia there were struggles there which you know you should always expect to have struggles starting over and so at that point it was kind of like you know we've been married for 10 years we hadn't we were unclear if we were gonna have kids there were still unknown it still felt very like fallen behind from like a career perspective and.

Jaclyn
Well we took so many risks.

Sam
Yeah so we started over so it was kind of like the thought of man we're gonna go start over again and start from zero or do we just like settle and do as well as we can here you know.

Jaclyn
And I think you were in the camp of let's settle let's put down roots and be here but I just felt and I've been writing a book you know The Frequency of Belief and going through the journey of how we got to where we are now and how the frequency of belief has been such a pivotal part of our journey but during that time in Georgia I just always felt like I'm trying to put on this shoe that doesn't fit I'm trying to make it work I'm trying to walk around in it but I just don't feel like I belong here.

Sam
Well I would I wouldn't say that I was on the side of settling I knew that you wanted out of there.

Jaclyn
Yeah.

Sam
And that you weren't happy there so I think for me it was more nuanced than that and then it's like okay can we just chill for a minute until we get a little further and there and we can kind of lay out the steps a little more clearly that's where I was coming from it wasn't like hey you got we got to stay here we got to plant roots and we're not going anywhere because I didn't want I didn't want that to be our relationship or affect our relationship more than it did.

Jaclyn
Yeah.

Sam
But you know then we did the complete opposite and sold everything and bought an RV and just hit the road you know.

Jaclyn
Which I was so excited about cause we were in Georgia for 6 years you know it's not like we were there for a year it was 6 years of like trying to plant roots trying to get settled trying to figure it out and by the end of it I think I was just ready to go.

Sam
Yeah and I mean.

Jaclyn
And I think that sorry but I think that process of selling everything and hitting the road was one of the best decisions we ever made.

Sam
Yeah I agree I agree but you also need to realize that we kind of did get to a point where it was feasible like from a business standpoint there was enough understanding and education in real estate to say okay we can kind of do this and not be here.

Jaclyn
Yeah patience is not my strong suit.

Sam
Yeah but I think sometimes we look at where we're zoomed in too closely and need to zoom out a little bit to see that both it wasn't just like oh you should have done this 5 years earlier and got gotten on with it but so anyway so we left Georgia lived in the RV for a year got out here and okay so from that point how do you feel about.

Jaclyn
I feel like I feel like out of necessity we got more and more aligned

Sam
Mm hmm.

Jaclyn
You know in Georgia it was cool and that it seems like several of not seems like it was the truth several of our friends moved to Georgia to be part of the real estate business and what we were kicking off and we had three guys living in our house that you know two of them were your business partners so we had like a business incubator in our house 24/7 and there were a lot of benefits to that but I think after we left and it was back to just being the two of us without the distraction of business partners and other people around all the time it was easier to go hey Sam can we focus on me and you.

Sam
Yeah.

Jaclyn
And I think you started to take that more seriously there were a lot of things that needed to be buttoned up with your partnership but then I remember a pivotal moment and it was shortly after Roman was born maybe like a few months and things had gone sideways in several areas of your former partnership and I looked at you and I was like in my mind I was like I hope he gets this because I feel like I've been saying it every way I know how without begging him but I remember looking at you and saying Sam you've got to put our family first over this partnership with these guys.

Sam
Mm hmm

Jaclyn
We have a baby now and even if you don't want to join forces with me in business like our family has to be the priority and I think both you and I have a tendency to just naturally prioritize other people and their feelings and their we want everybody to win which is a good thing I always want everybody to win but we were allowing people to win at our expense.

Sam
Yeah what happened before that? That happened in the trailer, that conversation?

Jaclyn
Maybe the first part of it but there was a I was sitting at this table in our Oak Street house and I remember saying to you can you please put our family first because.

Sam
It was after.

Jaclyn
No it's that.

Sam
Because I was always it was always for our family

Jaclyn
Of course but you also come from a military background where you have it's been ingrained in your mind to take care of the team and when somebody is on your team you are like I take care of the team and you are loyal to a fault and at that point when we had that conversation it was after a major falling out with one of your business partners who had totally mistreated you in my opinion and I just looked at you and I was like we've got to stop splitting all of our profits with this person who's just blatantly taking advantage and that's when I think like something clicked for you so I'm not blaming you it's been trained.

Sam
Yeah well it started but I'm just saying that it started before that. That was a result of me snapping that chalk line.

Jaclyn
Yeah that's a good.

Sam
That all happened after I said okay this is enough and that happened when we were living in the RV I said okay guys we're shutting it down we've got 6 months to shut it down plan accordingly and then that fallout started happening afterward in that process which that was probably a year or two later that you were talking about so in that unwinding of all that was when that happened

Jaclyn
Yeah but I feel like the trail the RV is really we call it the trailer Roman one time was like “I was born in a trailer” and I was like no we lived in an RV before you were born but I feel like that out of necessity and out of the hardship of living that way and all of the UPS and downs financially that we experienced just in that short period of time that kind of to me solidified our partnership not only did we have to work together to just keep everything going just parking the RV required both of us right and so I think that very hard hard time allowed us to go we're the team.

Sam
Right!

Jaclyn
Whereas before I think you know we were young we had friends we had business partners we had other people involved and that to me solidified the time and that was the first time I feel like we actually sat down and went what kind of house do you wanna live in what kind of car do you wanna drive Like you saw me writing what kind of car I wanted to drive when we first got to Georgia you saw me doing that but we sat down in that RV and mapped out how much money we wanted to make what we wanted our lives to look like where we wanted to live and that was when I started to feel like not only I always knew our marriage was gonna work cause we're committed to each other but that's when I felt like there's something really special happening right now.

Sam
Yeah I still have all those papers I just looked at them the other day.

Jaclyn
Oooh!

Sam
But I agree with you I agree with you I feel like that's when we that's when I think our visions were fighting each other in a lot of ways up until that point and I think it's taken we're still refining Certainly but that was definitely.

Jaclyn
There have been so many pivots.

Sam
That was definitely a turning point for sure mm hmm and it is also kind of when we started finding more of a groove and things started falling into place you know when we got aligned on what our vision was so the overall takeaway.

Jaclyn
I always knew it would.

Sam
The overall takeaway is I would agree that we were not great at our combined vision at first I think we didn't even have a combined vision for a long time.

Jaclyn
No.

Sam
And I think we struggled in a lot of ways and it caused a lot of strife mm hmm but over the last 15 years almost now I think it has been there was always the desire to align but I think just the way that we think is different in a lot of ways and so we just come closer and closer and closer to meet each other in the middle and I do feel like in recent just recent years is when we've really started to align.

Jaclyn
And I feel like as a result we are so much happier I think we have a healthier dynamic and our son feels that but also business wise and financially it's affected us greatly in a positive way.

Sam
Yeah so I mean maybe don't take 15 years to do it if you don't have to but at the same time you know those are hard conversations you know when one person wants one thing and the other person wants

Jaclyn
Something totally different.

Sam
It can feel like you're so far apart that how do you even how do you bridge that gap But I think the only way to do it is to remain committed and show commitment that both sides show commitment that you're working toward each other as much as possible.

Jaclyn
Yeah I think that's a big thing I think the thing that has held our marriage together is knowing that we love each other at the root of everything and that we're committed to each other at the root of everything and we have never threatened each other with like well I might just leave that's never been something we've thrown around even when we are in like the heat of an argument I remember one time at our Oak Street house we got so mad at each other and I just went and sat in the carport in the car cause I just our house was so small and I was like I just need some space and like every five minutes I'd see you peeking through the blinds just to make sure I was still sitting in the car.

Sam
I was so mad at.

Jaclyn
You were so mad at me and like I could see the look on your face but then you'd have like a little bit of relief that I was still there and I was like in my head I was like Sam you know I'm not going anywhere I just can't stand to be around you right now.

Sam
But I think I the most heated arguments we've ever had in the in the most serious arguments or differences that we've had I know that there have been I can think of maybe like two or three times where we've said that to each other once we've like kind of gotten over the initial rage that we have with each other is like look I'm not going anywhere but we got to sort this out you know.

Jaclyn
Yeah and I think you and I have always been willing to have very difficult conversations and we don't sweep it under the rug or go hey we'll address that next week we'll get into it and then just kind of stay there until we have a resolution or we'll say we're not gonna find a resolution today but I still love you and I'm still here.


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Jaclyn
We were talking about in the early days of our relationship how we would fight and I you know was raised by a lawyer and so I just naturally was taught if you have an argument you have points under that argument and so I think I just always kind of viewed any kind of disagreement as like well I have to lay out my case and you viewed it as like that's a lot of information in one sitting but I didn't know any different I didn't know any different like if you wanted to be taken seriously in my household like you had to have a good understanding of what you were talking about.

Sam
Yeah I had to get used to being like hit with an overwhelming.

Jaclyn
Amount of information.

Sam
Off the bat and learn how to like verbally express my emotions which that was the root of it.

Jaclyn
Oh gosh!

Sam
Didn't understand.

Jaclyn
Yeah your processor was pretty slow at first.

Sam
It was non existent. I would say…

Jaclyn
I would say I wasn't gonna say that but yeah he would just shut down during our arguments and look at me like he was in another universe I just look at you sometimes you'd fall asleep.

Sam
I was just looking at you like you are so freaking difficult.

Jaclyn
And in my mind I was like can you have at least an emotion like are you excited are you mad are you sad are you anything and you would just sometimes you'd even fall asleep like I'd stop talking and then you'd fall asleep and I'd be like this motherfucker.

Sam
I did I did but hey that's a pretty good weapon to have in your toolkit to just be able to fall asleep.

Jaclyn
Oh gosh it is kind of a wonder that we've stayed married isn't it.

Sam
Yeah well…

Jaclyn
I guess we're both stubborn.

Sam
Yeah but I'll say I've come a long way I've come a long way.

Jaclyn
Well and I have too I think.

Sam
No but I've come a long way.

Jaclyn
But I mean is I think I've Learned to give a lot more do you know what I mean instead of being like “I'm right just listen to how amazing my argument is.”

Sam
Well it's because my arguments have gotten better.

Jaclyn
Your arguments have gotten better but I've also realized like he gets to have a viewpoint and he gets to have feelings and he gets to have his perspective and that perspective is very real for him even if I think it's inaccurate that's what's real for you and so I have to respect that and then when we do have arguments now and you express yourself I take you I take your perspective very seriously because I know that that's your experience.
Sorry guys we're having some tech difficulties today but we're back so hopefully it's all streaming properly but yes go ahead.

Sam
Yeah so the question was why is it so important to create a vision together.

Jaclyn
Oh well first of all from an emotional standpoint it feels so good to be on the same page and I think in partnership when you know what you are working toward and you're both sharing that vision even if you're going about it in your own ways it creates so much peace and harmony you know a few maybe it was a month ago or so we did an episode about how we're planning our weeks now and just how much peace that has brought to our weekly lives and so much rest on the weekends because of it and so I think emotionally and physically that just creates a lot of peace and harmony to be on the same page and to be working toward the same goals but then from a frequency standpoint we double everything you know if I bring a lot of energy to a project that's great but the Bible says where two or three are gathered in my name there I shall be also right and when you and I join forces and bring both of our dynamic energies to something I find that things manifest a lot faster and we have had exponential financial and business success from where we were five years ago to now and there's still so much that we wanna do but it has been a 180.

Sam
Yeah and I think it obviously applies to business but it's relational spiritual everything is impacted and you're right you're exponentially more effective not only because you're both working towards the same thing but you're also not working against each other in many ways you know if you're not on the same page so.

Jaclyn
Yeah and I wanna be on the same page with you know I wanna grow old with you I want our children to have.

Sam
Hold on hold on ok so and I know we're kind of running long on this episode but I wanted to end it with we've always one thing I wanted to say though is a suggestion would be to not overcomplicate it if you're in a position where you have a partner or a spouse or a kid as well you know being aligned with all everybody in your family unit and having everybody on board I think is important if you don't feel like you're on the same page and you don't know how to bridge that gap make your vision that you're all going to get on the same page like you may not know what it is today but if we.

Jaclyn
That's beautiful though get that in your intention.

Sam
If we rewound the clock 15 years ago and neither of us were on the same page and didn't know how to get aligned with the other person's goals and objectives had we just been like look I don't know how to do this but what we can do is commit to trying to get on the same page.

Jaclyn
And I did have that prayer yeah maybe around 2020 or so.

Sam
Yeah well I mean I it's pretty simple but if you say hey I don't know how we're gonna do this but one I'm committed to you and two I'm committed to getting there  and then I think things once both people are aligned in that commitment then it'll fall in place a lot quicker than if you're on your own trying to figure something out.

Jaclyn
Or trying to mold your partner to fit your vision that doesn't work.

Sam
Yeah.

Jaclyn
And I think you can only have a successful relationship if you truly respect your partner.

Sam
Oh for sure.

Jaclyn
You know.

Sam
Yeah okay so we've you know we've always dreamt together we've always talked about different things we wanna do and where we wanna be and you know all the different stuff that you talk about but do you feel like we're aligned today you've kind of already answered that but.

Jaclyn
I feel like we are more aligned than we have ever been I think I'm a person that it is always looking for growth and always looking to refine things so I think we have more room to get even more aligned but I would say we are working as a pretty well oiled machine

Sam
Yeah I would agree with that I think that we're better than we've ever been but I do think that there's room for improvement and it's kind of like fine tuning

Jaclyn
Exactly well that's why I got us those journals I was like you can do yours I'll do mine we'll come together and do the shared.

Sam
Yeah well and it also changes over time so it's not like a just one and done kind of thing you know but I don't know if you wanna get into it and if we have time on this episode but at the end I wanted to sorry I got people calling at the end I wanted to talk like what do you what do you see as our your vision for our family over the next 1 year, 5 years, 20 years and I think we talk about that whether right now on the podcast.

Jaclyn
We're gonna be empty nesters in 20 years that's hard for me to even think about but of course we can talk about this and you know I do my affirmations I have a pretty clear vision of how I want things to look and a year from now I wanna be in a healthy routine physically you know feeling healthy and strong after having baby No. 2 financially I want us I feel like we're doing really well right now but I wanna create more stability Because we know what it's like to not be financially stable because we've risked so much and so a year from now I wanna have our nest egg be well over a year's worth of money and I wanna be investing more money monthly in real estate in crypto in stocks so to me Financial Security but it goes beyond security into legacy like I wanna have a financial legacy and I want us and I say this unabashedly I want us to have more money than we know what to do with and I know we're gonna be generous with it I know we're gonna be good stewards of it but that's what I want I want us to have more money than we know what to do with and I think if we keep going the way we are now a year from now we're gonna be in a really good position and one of my affirmations is like we can go anywhere we want whenever we want and in first class if we want to and I wanna get to that point and I think I think we'll be close a year from now to being there five years from now you know part of me is like do we want to have another baby after this I am 38 you know I women are having babies in their 40s I don't know but you know I've always thought three kids but at the same time for a while I didn't know if we were gonna have any kids so part of me yeah is very open to having another child but also I know that having two kids is gonna be just so awesome and I'm hoping that 5 years from now we have our place in Italy that we can go to every single summer to get out of the Scottsdale heat and I'm hoping that we will still want to work hard but we won't have to work so hard and of course I have like specific vehicle I wanna drive and you know I'd love to have a cabin in the woods that we can get away to on the weekends here but overall I love our life so much right now and I just wanna continue to build what we already have or build on what we already have yeah what about you I'm interested to hear your one year take and your five year take yeah and 20 years from now I wanna be sitting in Italy with you clinking wine glasses and like making elaborate dinners and listening to music and dancing around naked.

Sam
That sounds good.

Jaclyn
And like making our own olive oil wouldn't that be fun and working if we want to I feel like we will be in our late 50s or six you'll be in your early 60s by then which really is like there's so much life left to live after that but I want us to be in a position where we only have to do projects we want to do if we want to I feel like we both have personalities where we like to work but I want the option to not have to if I don't have to.

Sam
Yeah I think you know like we said before we're more aligned than ever and I feel like everything you just said are my favorite things to do every day.

Jaclyn
Steve!

Sam
Little Nacho Libre reference but yeah one year from now I think one year from now I know you said a year I think we're pretty close to that but I wanna do the deer dick method and have 5 years.

Jaclyn
5 years of income in the bank.

Sam
5 years of expenses I think just expenses in the bank liquid in the bank I know that's not for a lot of people the smart thing to do as far as like how much money that money is earning but from a peace of mind standpoint go listen to Rob Dyrdek his podcast I don't even know if he's doing his podcast anymore but.

Jaclyn
I don't think he is.

Sam
He had some pretty cool he was sharing some pretty cool stuff a couple years ago.

Jaclyn
Yeah I brought a side note I brought that up in my ladies lunch the other day and they were like five years of income don't you wanna just invest all that and I was like ladies I wanna have so much money that it doesn't matter that I have five years of income sitting in the bank but I want that five years of income just for peace of mind because we have risked every penny we own and I don't I just I want that peace of mind too but for me it starts with a year of income banked and right now I think we're at like eight months or something.

Sam
Yeah so I think that's an achievable objective in a year I feel like

Jaclyn
The five years is?

Sam
I think so yea.

Jaclyn
Yes!

Sam
I mean it depends on what you are calculating as our annual expenses certainly but like if our expenses our budget stayed where it is today I think that that's yeah that's feasible yeah because you know.

Jaclyn
I don't want to add any more expenses.

Sam
The design side of the business is rocking and rolling and that's just gonna get bigger and better with all the different things that you're adding in all of the other ventures that we have going on together the commercial side I feel like that's really starting to pick up now it's been I've been doing that for a little over 6 months and I'm starting to see the fruit of that and I think that will just compound exponentially.

jaclyn
I do too.

Sam
I'd like in a year to start acquiring some of the commercial assets.

Jaclyn
Yes!

Sam
And be a general partner in those so that they are you know it's nice to get the acquisitions fee on the acquisition fee on the front end but have those really start turning into owning those assets for 3 to 5 years and then rolling that you know 1031 of that into some even bigger stuff.

Jaclyn
You're talking sexy to me right now. I love the financial talk, bring it on!

Sam
But you know and having those create you know free and clear cash flow every month but also have a big upside on the back end feel like I'm talking like there's this there's this guy that has private equity spoofs on Instagram that I follow that are pretty hilarious but he just throws out all the jargon but so I really am confident that all of the stuff that we're doing is going to just continue to accelerate and a year from now the our new baby boy will be almost a year old year old Roman will be.

Jaclyn
four and a half.

Sam
Four and a half and I think you know I am I envision being able to there's always gonna be the juggle when you have little kids like that but I envision just being able to be even more present than we are now having hired some people on the business side as well as like house management and all that kind of stuff and I love to go anywhere anytime and fly first class.

Jaclyn
If we want

Sam
I would say if I get to choose we're definitely flying first class cause.

Jaclyn
I'll fly in with the baggage places like I just like to go and have adventures but.

Sam
I just wanna be comfortable yeah but so.

Jaclyn
And I wanna do adventures with our boys that's super important to me I mean just last night when I called you and it was like 4:00 PM and I was like hey do you wanna drop everything and pick up our son together and go to dinner and go get gelato and just create a core memory you know we're about to have another baby I want some core memories of just the three of us and it was so fun to just slow down and be present for a little bit and so I wanna make sure that we have those things on the calendar with our boys whether it's three day weekends or two week vacations to Europe you know something way more luxurious I wanna make sure that we're so intentional about spending quality time with them.

Sam
Yeah and I want us to be able to you and I to be able to take trips and.

Jaclyn
Say less.

Sam
The grandma's to be able to watch the kiddos while we're gone but.

Jaclyn
Yeah and I think we should build that in every year too.

Sam
And I think you know having some more hobbies built in to life you know to where it's not just work and then nighttime routine kind of over and over again.

Jaclyn
Like tennis and gardening and.

Sam
Well you know whatever yeah but just some variety outside of work and home and 5 years I think 5 years looks similar just times 5 in my mind.

Jaclyn
How can it get any better.

Sam
Yeah in 20 years I agree let's just be on the beach or in the mountains somewhere and.

Jaclyn
Italy chilling out or Grace.

Sam
Bouncing around yeah whatever like as long as it's as long as it's comfortable as long as it's comfortable but yeah and I know there's a lot more and I think I think we sit down and really like fill in the gaps and get detailed on that and that's what I said here I think we spend some time and actually write it down cause I think it's one thing for us to say it but like we did back in the in the trailer in the RV actually write it down yeah and revisit it regularly maybe we do that.

Jaclyn
We put it on our fridge and on the trailer or something something where we could see it.

Sam
but maybe we do that during our Friday meeting every week just kind of go over it but.

Jaclyn
Let's do it tomorrow!

Sam
Let's do it!

Jaclyn
Okay.

Sam
In vision Aligned all right guys that was a long one.

Jaclyn
Yeah but it was beautiful!

Sam
One into two but yeah I enjoyed it I think that's just having that conversation with you is fun and reflecting back on how far we've come Yeah very cool so closing question Straightforward are you and your family creating division for your family I worded that really awkwardly have you and your partner your spouse whoever created a vision for your family and has everyone bought in.

Jaclyn
Thank you for listening guys and we'll catch you in the next episode!

Thank you so much for listening to The Freq Show with Sam Thurmond and me Jaclyn Steele Thurmond we would love to connect with you via our website beckonliving.com and on social media.

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