The Freq Show

The Blessing Behind the Breakdown

Sam Thurmond & Jaclyn Steele Thurmond Season 7 Episode 231

It’s easy to say “everything happens for a reason” when life is smooth. But what about when the car breaks down, tenants are causing chaos, the flip is delayed, and the bills are due?

In this real-time, heart-centered episode of The Freq Show, Jaclyn and Sam pull back the curtain on a day that would’ve once sent them spiraling—and share how they chose a higher frequency response instead: gratitude.

Together, they unpack how to move from resistance to acceptance and why giving thanks in the middle of the storm can actually shift your reality. You’ll hear how Sam navigated a string of frustrating moments with a new mindset, and how these micro-shifts make a macro impact on your peace, your energy, and even your outcomes.

This episode is for anyone needing a reminder that the hard days aren’t setbacks—they’re sacred ground for something better.

Listener Challenge:
Next time something goes sideways, pause. Breathe. And say:
“Thank you. I know this is working in my favor.”

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Jaclyn
Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to The Freq Show. I am Jaclyn Steele Thurmond. This is my husband, Sam Thurmond.

Sam
Hello!

Jaclyn
And today we are going to be talking about the blessing behind the breakdown, which I'm sure so many of you are going to be able to relate to, so Sam, why are we talking about this today.

Sam
Yeah, so you know we always say everything happens for a reason, right, and it's a phrase that we hear often, but I think the real question is, do we believe it when we're in the thick of it.

Jaclyn
Mm hmm

Sam
You know I think once we get some space it's a little a little easier but what we're gonna talk about today is like in that moment of when those even little things happen that can send us spiraling in the wrong direction how do we immediately correct course shift our energy and spin it and turn it around and use it as a positive.

Jaclyn
Yeah, and I like the phrase Everything is happening for us, not to us.

Sam
Yeah.

Jaclyn
I think that's a really powerful statement.

Sam
Yeah!

Jaclyn
Yeah!

Sam
Well we you know we talk about what we talk about topics that are going on in our own lives right that's really what we when we meet and sit down and talk about discuss what we're going to talk about on the on the show we are always like what's fresh for us like what are we experiencing right now what are we going through

Jaclyn
What are we learning.

Sam
And what are we learning, yeah, so we're learning through this as we discuss it here, you know this is that we're giving ourselves advice, this is our own therapy session, but this one is very fresh because yesterday was one of those days.

Jaclyn
It happened yesterday.

Sam
Yeah, yesterday was one of those days, and the overall theme is gratitude isn't just for the good times and what happened yesterday, it wasn't anything you know extreme, but it was kind of a series of small I won't even call them setbacks but small challenges.

Jaclyn
Potentially triggering moments.

Sam
Perfect potentially triggering moments that kind of started first thing in the morning and then it was just throughout the day they kind of just built on top of each other so yesterday woke up to text messages from tenants have a tenant that's having issues with the HOA I'm having to be kind of you know in between playing both sides of the fence so that's always a hassle I had a tenant reach out that needs to break their lease on a house that they've been renting for a little over a year so now we're gonna have to deal with that hopefully we won't have any vacancy they're a great tenant but at the same time you know turnover is always a challenge and we don't want to miss that revenue every month because that can hurt we had our car an engine light come on for the car which last month we just took it into the shop for new tires and overhaul a big expense last month and then.

Jaclyn
What was that like? Let's put some numbers to it too, was it like $4,500 or something a month ago?

Sam
Just last month, yeah, and then a couple days ago over the weekend, we had a drive train issue, so now it's back in the shop, gonna be another expensive month for the vehicle.

Jaclyn
It's another $2,000, so I always like for everybody to know numbers so that they can like either understand the gravity or be like that's nothing.

Sam
Yeah, well, I mean it doesn’t.

Jaclyn
It doesn't its relatives. But so that’s close to $7,000

Sam
Yeah.

Jaclyn
In our car, that is it's a 2020, so it's not like it's a super old car, and it doesn't have high mileage.

Sam
Yeah.

Jaclyn
But you know the weather here in Arizona is just harsh.

Sam
Yeah.

Jaclyn
That heat.

Sam
So more more cost for car repairs.

Jaclyn
That we weren't expecting.

Sam
We had some property taxes that we found out hadn't been paid so that was another Bill on top.

Jaclyn
I still don't understand how.

Sam
Yeah, well, we moved had a change of address, so I don't think we got the notification for that one, but still have to pay him.

Jaclyn
And that's another $4,500 or something like that.

Sam
Yep, yep, and then again this morning we have a flip that's supposed to close on the 11th, and it looks like that's pushing back another week.

Jaclyn
This is news to me.

Sam
This is news, yep, I was gonna hit you with it so you can apply what we're talking about here in real time.

Jaclyn
Whatever!

Sam
But still gonna still gonna close, but just a delay with that one, so.

Jaclyn
Just one week.

Sam
Yeah!

Jaclyn
Okay.

Sam
So you can kind of see that the last 24 hours how things can just pile on and you might say well that's just another day and honestly in real estate and in life it kind of is just another day so they're on one hand I think the experience that we've built over the last 10 years has equipped us to kind of handle these things and move forward but at the end of the day yesterday when you were making dinner and I was opening the mail and open the property tax Bill it was kind of just like man another hit today you know and I think the energy in the room between both of us was just kind of like all right how are we going to let this affect us one you know what are we going to do as far as taking action but I think even more than that it's kind of like okay what's gonna be our mindset like we were processing it for a few minutes trying to move through it and everything else that had happened that day because it felt bigger because of all the other little things that were that were happening.

Jaclyn
And I think it also felt bigger because last year at this time June of 2024 we had just listed Villa Secreta and it was still on the market and we got an offer if you remember correctly within the first three days of it being on market we turned the offer down because we were like it's a brand new property it's got so much interest like we're gonna hold out for the price that we want and then it sat for another two months and the overhead on that was something like $11,000 a month and so we were shaking in our boots because our amount of liquid cash during that time was dwindling so much every single month that by the time we did actually sell it I think we had like $300 in our savings account or something like something we were getting by the skin of our teeth and so I know for me I won't speak for you but yesterday it was a potentially triggering experience for me because last year at this time we were in a financial pressure cooker and we were on the verge of not losing everything because we have investments but having some pretty major changes on the horizon potentially that would negatively affect us and so yesterday I thought about how we were being hit with you know seven more grand worth of expenses that were unexpected on top of the almost five grand we paid a month and a half ago for the vehicle and then also we're having a baby very soon and there are some things I wanna do around the house and some things I wanna get and it was like well that just went out the window but when I took a breath and yes the air was sucked out of the room for a minute when I took a breath and took a step back I was like here's the blessing we have the money to pay these things and we're not gonna be in trouble as a result financially the other thing is compared to what we went through last summer and the pressure that we were under last summer this is nothing and it also put into perspective how far we've come in the last year not only financially but mindset wise nobody wants to be hit with unexpected bills nobody but in this moment I felt a sense of gratitude that we have the money to do it and it's gonna be okay and maybe I won't be able to get a new sofa before the baby comes but that's okay too and a trust that no matter what happens we're gonna be okay and that there are many blessings coming our way in the future and then my third thought was Louise Hay says be grateful for your bills every time you get a Bill be so grateful for it because it means those institutions believe that you are capable of paying these expenses they are trusting you to be able to pay these things and I think that mindset shift of we have the opportunity to be grateful for everything I don't want extra bills I don't want my hard earned money flying out the window so to speak but at the same time you know the property taxes are just part of home ownership and the car maintenance is part of owning a vehicle and being able to enjoy that vehicle and rely on that vehicle and so underneath that potentially triggering moment I found a lot of gratitude and a lot of peace in really recognizing how far we've come in the last 12 months.

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Sam
I think you kind of explained the next couple of points

Jaclyn
Sorry.

Sam
Of how we would have how how this would have played out in the past and I think referencing you know a year ago you know and especially like four or five years ago how a day like that would have affected us even one or two of those things I think would have I know put me in this low vibe mood of what am I doing I don't know what I'm doing I mean this is ridiculous like how are we what what's a I'm what's a the Tiger King I'm never gonna we're I'm never gonna recover from this.

Jaclyn
Yeah, well, Sam, your old tendency was to shrink back and go, we're selling where if the vehicle costs X amount of dollars to repair, we're gonna sell that vehicle and we're never gonna get another one. That was your old attitude.

Sam
Okay.

Jaclyn
It was very much like cut and dry, this is devastating, and now we have to shift our whole trajectory because of it.

Sam
Yeah, well, I mean.

Jaclyn
A little dramatic.

Sam
Okay, but seven grand of repairs in two months for a vehicle that's not that old like might be something you want to think about.

Jaclyn
But five years ago, six years ago was like you know two grand or something, which is still a significant amount of money.

Sam
I know I know but all I'm saying is it would have had this huge impact on me it would have taken me days to recover and I don't know that I ever would have I don't know that I really would have gotten the lesson out of it in the moment that I think we are aware enough now to understand that there is a lesson in the moment you don't have to wait years to look back and say oh man that was silly to react that way now we're at the point where it's like okay this happened let me stop and let me give thanks not only for all of the good things that are going on but let me give thanks for these issues that are happening right now because there is something for me to learn from this there is something better coming out of this and also if not most importantly I want to give thanks to God in these moments because it's easy when the house the flip sells or everything is you know you're staying under your monthly budget or whatever it is those times are are easy to give thanks and we should give thanks in those moments but especially in times of what is seemingly negative in the moment if we give thanks in those moments it's an immediate energy shift it's an immediate show of faith.

Jaclyn
Yeah.

Sam
You know, and I think that I think you know the higher power, I think God wants to see that from us because he's like.

Jaclyn

Shows faith!

Sam
How are you going to respond in this, and can I trust you to bless you moving forward?

Jaclyn
Yeah.

Sam
So I you know there's a so much to take from this and.

Jaclyn
Well I want to commend you too you know we have talked about bounce back rates for a long time and I have a tendency to like get really angry about something and then five minutes later I'll be like you know what I really don't want to fight about this let's just let it go and start over and you're like it's hard for me to keep up with you I feel like you like you.

Sam
Well I feel like I feel like there has been a tendency for me to chase you emotionally and.

Jaclyn
Never like never a good idea.

Sam
Now you're upset so about something so now I either feel like I either need to get upset back at you and match your energy or I need to evaluate what's going on if there's anything I'm doing or if we get let's say we get mad at each other like you get mad about something and not that you're the only one that gets mad about things but if you get mad about something we have an argument you'll move on from it and I'll still kind of I'll still be in that mode like I'm still pissed off or whatever it is and for a long time a lot of years it felt like I was just kind of chasing you because you'd pop out and be like Okay I'm good.

Jaclyn
I go through the levels of grief or anger like very quickly because I'll I go through it in my mind and then I'll be like do I really need to be upset about this is this worth fighting with him about or what ruining the day and by the end of the those questions that I filter through pretty quickly I'm usually it's not worth it.

Sam
Yeah, yeah, I think we could.

Jaclyn
But I can understand it’s hard to keep up with it

Sam
I think we could get sidetracked and dig deeper into that and what that like actually is, or whatever whatever but.

Jaclyn
Going back to bounce back.

Sam
Right yeah yeah I feel like especially with this stuff both of us you included there are a number of things there like we talked about a minute ago being able to learn in the moment versus having to wait a long period of time to look back and say oh man that was silly for me to react like that I think now having experienced and having experienced these days like countless times over the years I think you do build up a resilience to it certainly.

Jaclyn
Mm hmm.

Sam
And even though the numbers attached to those days

Jaclyn
Generally, grow up.

Sam
Yeah they grow with you but I think you've we've gone through so many iterations of this stuff happens and then you come out the other end of it and you're fine so there's no reason not to shift your energy back to a positive frequency in that moment because I know it's going to be fine so let me stop right now give thanks be grateful and not ruin the rest of the night that I have with my beautiful family.

Jaclyn
But I feel like yesterday your bounce back rate was faster than I've ever seen it because you barely got upset at all, and normally in the past I feel like that would have hovered for a few days.

Sam
Yep!

Jaclyn
And yesterday it was like 2 minutes maybe five minutes of like trying to figure out what had just happened um and doing some computer work and then you were you like closed your computer and you were like you know what I have so much to be grateful for I got this we got this we're gonna figure it out it'll be fine.

Sam
Yeah.

Jaclyn
And that changed the whole mood for me too 'cause I often play off your mood, and I'll be like, should I be worried.

Sam
Yeah.

Jaclyn
Tell me if I need to be worried right now, yeah.

Sam
And I think I wanted to I wanted to say, like you know, you don't need to worry about it, yada yada in the moment, but I didn't want to come off like I was pretending.

Jaclyn
Yeah.

Sam
or just saying that, just to say it, so I wanted to

Jaclyn
I would know I.

Sam
I know you would, so I wanted you to have your time to process it, your time to kind of come to your own conclusion, but then say. Look, we got this, you know it's gonna be fine, it's gonna be better than fine, let's just get back to it high five!

Jaclyn
High five!

Sam
So where do we go from here I think the the thread you've been on me about keeping a thread in our conversations is just that is like these little moments big or small are our opportunity to that's where we have that's where our control comes in a lot of this stuff I can't control an HOA I can't control.

Jaclyn

A tenant.

Sam
What happens with our car, I can't control if a tenant has a life change and they have to move.

Jaclyn
Yeah.

Sam
The only thing I can control is my reaction and how fast I'm able to bounce back and then move forward and be productive.

Jaclyn
And take action on what needs to be done and not bury yeah we don't we're not gonna bury our heads in the sand.

Sam
And I think you're right that you know in the past it would have caused me to buckle down and say I gotta tighten the reins on everything to make sure this stuff doesn't happen, even though it's out of my control, in my mind I wanna control it, but now.

Jaclyn
It's a losing battle.

Sam
But and what would cause me to miss out on potential opportunity because I'm so focused on like battening down the hatches, but now it's like okay that happened, but what's the big opportunity on the other side of this that's gonna make this stuff seem minuscule.

Jaclyn
Yeah, and I think again putting into perspective how far we've come and where we were last summer versus where we are now, you know it's a pretty stark difference.

Sam
Yeah.

Jaclyn
Financially, we're in a totally different place. We have a lot more stability, you know, last June I had a miscarriage, now I'm eight months pregnant like it's pretty beautiful to think back and recognize how we have changed and grown and how much God has blessed us.

Sam
Yeah.

Jaclyn
Last summer was like being in like I said a financial pressure cooker, and I feel like that's not even dramatic enough

Sam
And I think we sorry go ahead.

Jaclyn
And now the juxtaposition of that versus where we are now and yeah we got hit with some unexpected stuff yesterday but our mindset and how far we have come over the last year because of those struggles not in spite of them because of those struggles is pretty incredible and I think it's important for people to recognize actually I'm writing about this in my book I just finished a chapter on it but I hearken back to a scene in Wonder Woman you're gonna love this cause it's one of my favorite movies with Gal Gadot the first Wonder Woman the second one the second one's terrible but the first Wonder Woman and Antiope Diana.

Sam
How you remember?

Jaclyn
Well cause I wrote it yesterday I wrote it yesterday I didn't I wouldn't have I wouldn't have remembered it but Antiope is secretly training Diana when she's a child because she wants her to become a warrior and Diana's mother Hippolyta Hippolyta Hippolyta whatever it is doesn't want Diana to be trained because she thinks that if she becomes powerful Aries is gonna come back and take her away right well during this training moment Hippolyta comes in on horseback and realizes that her sister is training her daughter unbeknownst to her and she sends her daughter away but then she has a conversation with her sister and Antiope says the only way to protect her is to train her and when Hippolyta recognizes that she's right the only way to protect her is to train her and have her go through this pain Hippolyta then says to Antiope you will train her five times harder you will train her 10 times harder until she's even better than you and at that time Antiope was the best warrior on the island and I think the same goes for us when we have big dreams and big goals God goes I'm gonna train you 5 times harder I'm gonna train you 10 times harder and that is the point that I'm getting at right now is that these trials are not sent to us to break us down they are sent to us to break us down to make us stronger like building a muscle and I think there's such opportunity with the way we see things with our perspective if we can shift it that way and go I'm gonna train 5 times harder I'm gonna train 10 times harder which means the lessons that I'm going to incur are going to be very challenging but the person that I'm going to emerge on or emerge as on the other side is going to be a completely refined renewed version and that person is going to be ready to take on bigger better more amazing things and then as we grow our trials you know maybe the like Sam mentioned maybe the numbers get bigger in the bills or the stakes get higher if we're not talking about money but the people that we become bigger and more capable of facing those challenges.

Sam
Yeah, that was good, yeah, I think I think like you said we all we Hark and back to last summer because that was the most recent iteration of the roller coaster hitting the hitting the bottom, but that's not the first time like we've been through that.

Jaclyn
No, that was just the biggest.

Sam
We've been through that numerous times, and it never felt small.

Jaclyn
No, it always felt enormous.

Sam
Because that was where we were in that moment but as time goes on the challenges get bigger and the and the more you want to grow like you said the bigger the challenges become and they have progressed that direction but I think that the key to it or one of the keys is in the gratitude because last summer you know we bucked up we did what we had to do we were thankful but my gosh.

Jaclyn
Every single day.

Sam
We were, yeah, we it was running on adrenaline.

Jaclyn
Mmm hmm absolutely

Sam
But I think now to keep to the thread of the conversation gratitude in the moment is kind of like the salve on the burn you know you get you're getting burned by these little things day in day out but if you look at them you give thanks you're grateful for them it's like putting a salve on that burn so now you can move forward and it's not holding you back.

Jaclyn
Hmm, love it alright, what do we close with, sir?

Sam
Okay, so the question slash challenge for today is the next time something goes sideways that would normally send you spiraling, we challenge you to give thanks in that moment for the bigger picture, the blessings in your life, and the knowing that everything is working in your favor.

Jaclyn
It's happening for you, not to you; it's happening for us, not to us.

Sam
Yep

Jaclyn
Amen and Amen all right thank you guys so much for tuning in to The Freq Show we hope that this has elevated the frequency you're living on today and if you want further elevation definitely check out the freq app you can find it at thefreqapp.com or download it in the Android App Store or the Apple App Store and enjoy our beautiful calibrations alright thank you for tuning in and we will catch you next time!

Jaclyn
Thank you so much for listening to The Freq Show with Sam Thurmond and me, Jaclyn Steele Thurmond. We would love to connect with you via our website, beckonliving.com, and on social media.

Sam
You can find us on Instagram and TikTok @beckonliving, and you can join our email list to receive uplifting messages, podcast and business updates, and discounts on High Frequency products just for our freqy community.

Cheers to High Frequency Living!