How to increase your capacity 10 fold while still feeling energized

Today’s episode is all about increasing your capacity. Sam and I want to create and build a lot in this lifetime, but over the last 3 months, we’ve realized we have a lot of holes in our proverbial ship. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way and Sam and I certainly have, but the upside is that through the repairing of these holes, we’ve discovered a formula for increasing our capacity 10 fold while still keeping our frequency high - mentally AND physically. So if you want to do more WITH more energy, then today’s content is for YOU!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Welcome to the Freak Show podcast, hosted by Sam Thurmond and Jacqueline Steele Thurmond. Sam is an Air Force Academy graduate and veteran who, after his service and two deployments, escaped the 9-to-5 grind, but building a real estate investing business that has, to date, accounted for over$50 million in real estate transactions. Jacqueline is an award-winning musician, former owner of boutique branding agency Steel International, real estate investor, and designer for luxury multi-million dollar homes.

SPEAKER_03: 0:33

We are so excited to welcome you to the Freak Show podcast, where we center our content around the frequency of belief.

SPEAKER_01: 0:40

Why? Because when we overcome fear and self-doubt, basically by getting out of our own way, we can make the impossible possible.

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And in this podcast, we are going to share our favorite mindset tools and life lessons that have come completely transformed our lives and businesses. So without further ado,

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let's get freaky.

SPEAKER_03: 0:58

Welcome back to the freak show. I am Jacqueline Steele Thurmond. I am joined by my handsome husband,

SPEAKER_01: 1:02

Sam Thurmond.

SPEAKER_03: 1:04

And today, episode 10, we are going to talk about how to increase your pack capacity tenfold while still feeling energized. So this year, I think we talked about it in our last episode, but we are talking about our recipe. and how we can not live a balanced life. I don't think that we are under the delusion that we can have everything all at once and be calm.

SPEAKER_01: 1:31

This morning, a prime example.

SPEAKER_03: 1:34

This morning, a prime example, which we can definitely talk about. But we are really getting intentional about how to create space for joy and rest and space to go really hard because we both like to work and we both like to test our limits, right? So over the last three months, we have, in the process of understanding how much we want to do in this lifetime, we've realized that we have a lot of holes in our proverbial ship. And so we need to tighten down the Hatches? Is that what, is that? Batten

SPEAKER_01: 2:17

down the hatches?

SPEAKER_03: 2:17

Batten down, batten

SPEAKER_01: 2:18

down. Batten the hatches? Yeah. I think, that sounds right. I'm not

SPEAKER_03: 2:21

a sailor. We need to batten down the hatches, plug some holes. And we've been in the process of doing that. I would say we are like neck deep in the process of doing that. And so we wanted to share what we have been doing to batten down those hatches and just tighten things up. And also how we've been able to increase our capacity by doing that. I think from the outside looking in, when you say, ah, my ship is leaking, people might say, wow, we've got a lot of work to do. And yeah, we do have a lot of work to do to tighten that up. But at the same time, in the process of tightening everything up, I think we've gained so much more energy and so much more capacity.

SPEAKER_01: 3:06

Yeah. Yeah, you know, it's like the Golden Gate Bridge for another analogy. They never stop painting the Golden Gate Bridge, right? Once they get all the way across, they go back and start again because by the time they've gotten to the other end, it's time to start on the other side again. So, you know, it's an ongoing thing. I don't think that ever changes. You're never not going to have... tweaks to make or things happen in life that change circumstances. But

SPEAKER_03: 3:37

being aware of it and being intentional about really steering, to keep going with the ship metaphor, steering the ship of our lives rather than letting it steer us. I think that is where we're at because since we started our business and since we started real estate investing, really since we got together as a married couple, we have just been Going, going, going, going, going. And I think that's necessary in many ways to build the kind of life that we want to live, which is an entrepreneurial life where we're our own bosses. But at the same time, now we have a two-year-old son and we don't want to miss his childhood. And so we're finding that delicate back and forth on how to be amazing businessman and businesswoman, but also... Yeah. Yeah. And

SPEAKER_01: 4:32

that's why I'm so excited about the recipe though, that we coined it because it's just, we've done, we've done so many things. We've tried so many things. We've succeeded. We've failed. There have been periods where I would say that we've enjoyed life more than other periods. And so now where we're at is we're taking all of that data over the last 16 years, right? Long time, a lot of data. And we're putting it, we're analyzing it and we're saying, okay, this is what we've done. This is what we've learned. And we want to take these We want to make these goals all from that experience, right? And we want to find our recipe and find our groove. This is how we live life. And this is what things are going to go in and out of the lines at times, but this is the guideline for our life as we see it right now.

SPEAKER_03: 5:30

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think before we do launch into, let's see, there's one, two, three, five pillars of today's episode, we should talk about what happened this morning because I don't want people thinking we have it all figured out because we don't. We are a work in progress for sure.

SPEAKER_01: 5:49

Yeah. Yeah. The cool thing though, I'll start with- Our bounce back rate is great. I'll start with the end is- Neither of us freaked out. Nope. I think we, in the past, it would have felt very overwhelming and very disappointing that our Monday wasn't going to go exactly as we planned. The way that we had planned. We realized that we were recording this morning versus tomorrow, which is what we were thinking, and we just got jumbled up a little bit there.

SPEAKER_03: 6:42

We're finishing up the biggest project we've ever done, and so we basically worked through the weekend. We're just a little discombobulated. And so it was my bad that I didn't double check our schedule. We need an assistant to help us with

SPEAKER_01: 6:57

our scheduling. We need a couple hires.

SPEAKER_03: 7:00

We need a couple hires, which we'll get there. We'll get there. It's part of the recipe. It'll happen. But yeah, we basically overbooked ourselves and we needed to be in the recording studio recording this podcast at 10 a.m. So I texted Sam this morning from the other side of the house and I was like, well... We got to go.

SPEAKER_01: 7:18

Yeah. And we have to be there in an hour, by the way. We have to be there in an hour. Keep in mind, we are staging. We're having the... Yeah,

SPEAKER_03: 7:27

the project

SPEAKER_01: 7:27

stage. The project stage today. We really wanted to be there.

SPEAKER_03: 7:30

Go check out our Instagram and my Instagram to go see the photos because it's a really special property.

SPEAKER_01: 7:35

So we were really excited about that. We really wanted to be there to make sure everything was out of the way, everything was clean, the other kind of punch list items that were going on. Just wanted to be there for that. We have multiple other projects in South Carolina and Georgia and North Carolina that need tending to, but That was the original plan, but here we are.

SPEAKER_03: 7:58

Yeah, and that doesn't even include any of the podcast stuff we're doing or the exciting additions to the podcast that we're creating. Just a lot on our plates, which is why what we're going to share with you today is so important. in our recipe and so important to increasing our capacity while still feeling energized so we're not constantly in the cycle of burnout. So I would say pillar number one is knowing your baseline. You have got to know your baseline for how you want to feel. Now, I can be super techie. I would say I'm a little bit more techie than you, Sam, but I use my Oura Ring Every single day. This is one of the best purchases I have ever made. It gives me sleep data to know how I'm sleeping, how long I'm sleeping, when I'm waking up in the night. It gives me a readiness score based on my activity the previous day and my sleep score and my heart rate variability. And it keeps me honest. And that's what I love about it so much. Sam sometimes is like, you paid way too close of attention to that. But the reason I love it so much is because I have lived much of my adult life. And I think like junior high and high school, because I've always been a type A driven person in a cycle of burnout. And the aura ring tells me, basically when my energy is getting low and when my resilience is waning. And that's why I love it so much because sometimes my brain overrides my body and my brain will tell me, you just got to keep going, you can power through, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But my physical body is telling me another thing and I am learning to really pay attention to those physical cues. I pay attention when I'm thirsty, when I'm hungry, when... I feel like I'm sick or when I feel like maybe my thyroid is out of whack. But when my body needs rest, very often my brain will override that and I will go into hyperdrive mode, which just makes everything else worse. And I think... Part of that is just being type A and driven, but also growing up. And God bless my mom. She just believes in me so much. But she would say, if anybody can figure it out, it's you. And she said that to me pretty much my whole life. And if anybody can do it, it's you. And so I think that created this false sense of physical limitlessness. that I just, I'm really trying to honor those boundaries. And Sam yesterday, I remember I said, I looked at my aura ring this morning, I've got to get some rest today. And Sam was like, you are so much stronger than you think, like you can do this. And I was like, oh, I know I can do this. I just don't want to. I want to rest because I need to give my body a break. And I think that is... one of the biggest lessons in my capacity for me over the last four months, because this year has been so crazy. Listen to episode nine if you want to catch up on what's been happening in our personal lives. But that ability to now go, hey, I'm going to pace myself and I'm really, really going to pay attention to what my numbers are, that has given, it feels like I've taken my own power back. That's what I'm getting at. I feel like I've taken my power back. So knowing your baseline is absolutely essential. How much sleep are you getting? What are you eating and how is it affecting you? How does it make you feel? Are you moving your body? How does that make you feel? And are you feeding your soul? What are you doing to give back to your life so that you have energy to give yourself and others? What do you want to add to that?

SPEAKER_01: 11:52

So for one, yesterday I wasn't coming at you saying, oh, you're stronger than that. Yeah, yeah, you don't need to sleep or rest or anything like that. I think for me, I have tried the Oura Ring. I'm trying to remember there was another- Apple Watch. Yeah, maybe it was just Apple Watch. But I've used those before, and I think they're great. But I think that I just tend to- not rely on those. And maybe that's a, excuse me, a problem for me because I will push, push and push until I'm just laid flat out on the floor, which has happened before.

SPEAKER_03: 12:37

Well, both of us, that is both of us. That is our default.

SPEAKER_01: 12:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 12:41

And that is why I think the aura ring for me, at least, I'm not going to tell you what you need to do, but the aura ring for me keeps me honest and it makes me go, Hey, I got to ease up. for the next couple of days or, hey, I'm ready to go hard. I've got all the energy I need.

SPEAKER_01: 12:55

Yeah, I understand that. I think I just tend to go more off of how I feel. And it's not an accusation whatsoever on what you're doing. I think it's fantastic. Why do I

SPEAKER_03: 13:07

feel like it's an accusation?

SPEAKER_01: 13:08

Yeah, if that empowers you, that's perfect. That's great. If it makes you feel better and you feel more in control, that's fantastic. I think I just... Bottom line, I don't want it to tell me something I don't want to see is what it comes down to. So

SPEAKER_03: 13:26

maybe I'm just a little braver here than you are.

SPEAKER_01: 13:28

Maybe. If I got a lot of stuff to do today and there's something else that's going to tell me that I need more rest or I'm tired or whatever, I just don't want that added input. Yeah, and

SPEAKER_03: 13:44

I understand that. And I don't use it as an excuse not to do what needs to be done. Yeah, for sure. Because I'm doing that. So that's one of the reasons I like it so much. So Oura Ring, if you want to sponsor a podcast, please do because we're giving you a lot of airtime.

SPEAKER_01: 14:24

Yeah, we sure are. But I think that's the key point is that when you do take those steps and take that time, the downtime, the rest, the quiet, the space, you are... so much more effective than if you don't. And that's what it comes down to. And when it comes to me, it does all start with rest. My default is to power through, like both of our defaults is to power through and just keep pushing, keep pushing, keep pushing. And I tend to push until I hit a wall I hit a breaking point either like mentally or there have been times physically when my body was just like, nope, you're not, I'm going to four. I think we talked about this on another podcast. I'm going to force you to lay on the floor for four or five days because you got to slow down. I had like some crazy problems. back and leg pain one time that just literally I could not get off the floor. I couldn't lay on the bed. It wasn't comfortable on the couch. It wasn't comfortable. I just lay on the floor. And that was after a period of extreme like, uh,

SPEAKER_03: 15:42

stress,

SPEAKER_01: 15:43

stress and going. So, um, but it all does come back to that. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'll just, uh, injure myself and that'll be the indication I need.

SPEAKER_02: 15:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 15:55

So anyway, it, I say all that to, to, and still say that rest is extremely important. And for me, it's space. And a lot of times, I feel like I'm someone when my ideal state for rest is just to be blackout, no interaction with anybody, no requirements. know nothing, like just in my chamber of solitude. And I'm sure that's the same for a lot of people. But ideally, that's not really how life works with a young child, with a business, and those sorts of things. So finding those opportunities to create that routine and pepper in a The rest and the small amounts or the small opportunities for space along the way is super important. Well,

SPEAKER_03: 16:49

and I think when you create the opportunity for the small space along the way, it doesn't require the blackout. Everything's off my to-do list. I'm in solitude in my room with the blackout curtains closed. And that's, again, we're pacing ourselves. We're getting the recipe down.

SPEAKER_01: 17:08

Yeah, and I do that. Every day I... Usually in the morning, I take time before I... If I'm disciplined, I take time to just be quiet and meditate. You're really good about doing that. In the morning.

SPEAKER_03: 17:23

Both of us are.

SPEAKER_01: 17:24

Just to get my head on straight, and it totally changes the course of the day.

SPEAKER_03: 17:27

Yeah. Do you want to talk about feeding your soul, or do we want to go into pillar number two?

SPEAKER_01: 17:34

I'm just reading the notes really quickly. It's kind of the same... I guess overall theme, rest and the things that feed my soul, whether it's exercising, playing with Roman, us hanging out, whatever that is. Cooking dinner. Those are just slowing down. Those are the first things to go for me whenever I'm feeling stressed and it's counterintuitive because you think you need to work more, but you really need... that time for your brain to rest and the other things in your life, the truly important things in your life that fill you, you have to take time for those. I have to take time for those because it totally puts things into perspective. And honestly, a lot of the time when I'm driving really hard, it's because I lack clarity and I'm trying to force the, you know, square peg into the circle or whatever it is and if I just step back and allow myself to totally put my mind on something else that's unrelated a lot of times those things will work themselves out or an idea or thought or clarity will come to me in that space.

SPEAKER_03: 18:57

Well our brains need breaks to be able to problem solve and to be able to think clearly. So Pillar number two is tools and tricks we love, which we really enjoy biohacking tools. So Sam loves the sauna. I love the sauna a little bit less than Sam, but I do like cold showers. I absolutely love my PEMF mat, which it's pulsed electromagnetic frequencies. And they harmonize your body's cells. They help with inflammation. They help with mood. They help with bodily pain, all kinds of other things. We use higher dose products. And we do have a discount code. It's Beckon, B-E-C-K-O-N. That's our business name for 20% off of their entire site except for Sauna's. So the PEMF mat is a huge thing. I use it probably five days a week. We also love red light therapy. Red light therapy is also... incredibly helpful on a cellular level. It's good for brain health. It's good for thyroid health. If you have thyroid issues like I do, cell turnover, pain, inflammation, it's incredible. Truly, truly incredible. Keeps us young. We use a company called Bone Charge, and we also have a discount code there, which is Beckon, B-E-C-K-O-N, and I'll put those links in the show notes. But Red Light Therapy PM MF mat, cold shower, sauna. And then I have a number of rituals that also give me energy. I love to take some time and dry brush, gets your lymphatic system going. I like to do facial massage every Sunday. I give myself some kind of facial. I'll do a good cleanse, a face mask, maybe some gua sha. I like to, at the end of every day... do my PEMF mat, put hand cream on, like those little rituals that seem so benign, but they add up. And especially as women, when we are, and you too, Sam, but women are often in the service of their families, right? And so I need things every day that fill my cup. So maybe it's listening to music while I'm cooking dinner or listening to a podcast or an audio book, um, doing like oiling my hair, little things like that that don't necessarily take a ton of time, but they just feed my soul and help me to feel like I'm taking excellent care of myself. It makes all the difference in the world to me. And I... Again, I'm trying to pace myself so that I'm not trying to perform and perform well out of a state of burnout. I want to perform and perform well out of a state of overflow, meaning I have so much energy that it's just overflowing out of my cells. Yeah,

SPEAKER_01: 22:01

I think that there are a lot of modalities, like we've talked about, red light, PMF, sauna, cold plunge, all becoming very popular and all very good for you physiologically. But to your point, I think most of the benefit is just taking the time to do something for yourself outside of the

SPEAKER_03: 22:25

normal. And if those modalities are not cost effective or that's just not a priority for you in your budget right now, go put your feet on some grass, get some sun in the morning, get some sun at night. Those things help set your circadian rhythm. They help-

SPEAKER_01: 22:40

Some sun at night?

SPEAKER_03: 22:42

Well, no, as the sun goes down.

SPEAKER_01: 22:45

Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_03: 22:46

Whatever. But it helps to regulate your hormones, helps to regulate your circadian rhythm. So it doesn't need to be a cost prohibitive thing. I know biohacking can get expensive, but really just getting in tune with nature is biohacking.

SPEAKER_02: 23:02

Sure. Are we?

SPEAKER_03: 23:07

Oh, gosh, Sam. Oh, okay. Yeah, we definitely had too much going on this morning. So, okay. I'll take over for this part. So, I love simplicity. And this is another thing that when it comes to tools and tricks, I think it kind of goes without saying, but... It can be very simple. We don't need to make it a big deal. I love slow mornings. I try and make sure on the weekends I've got some slow mornings so that we're not overstimulated right when we wake up. I love to journal. I love taking walks. I take a lot of walks. I love yoga. I love sitting in silence. I love spending time outside. We've got a great outdoor area. We have a pool that we can hang out in on the weekends. And these are very simple things that give me space to think. And that space to think, like we mentioned earlier, gives clarity and when I have clarity I'm a totally different person

SPEAKER_01: 24:00

everything you just said are my favorite things to do every single day. You were

SPEAKER_03: 24:12

looking at me like, I have something funny to say. I have something funny to say. Will you please finish that sentence? I have something funny to say. Yeah, Nacho Libre is like one of the first movies we watched when we started dating. And we talked in a Nacho Libre accent for probably, I mean, we still do it, but probably like full time for like five years.

SPEAKER_01: 24:30

Yeah, it's funny how, I know it's not uncommon, but Just a side note, it's funny how you develop your own language. As a couple. As a couple and as a family in your house. Everybody has

SPEAKER_03: 24:42

one. That's a good toast. That's a real

SPEAKER_01: 24:45

good toast.

SPEAKER_03: 24:47

Okay, let's go to the next thing and wrap this thing up because we're a little long-winded today. Number three, why boundaries are the sexiest thing you will ever create. Sam and I, but especially me, really mostly me, we've had... I've had super leaky boundaries. I can be a people pleaser. I love making people happy. And a lot of the time I bend over backwards at my own expense. So how are we remedying this? How am I remedying this? I'm keeping it simple. I'm just saying no. I'm in a season of no right now. And when something comes up, instead of my default being yes, I am intentionally considering what we have going on during that period of time. So in the past, and we talked about it in episode nine, we have a lot of guests at our house, way more than the average Joe. Generally, at least one set of guests per month. At least. At least. Generally, a lot of the times two, sometimes three.

SPEAKER_01: 25:55

Yeah, over the last four months, it's been more than that.

SPEAKER_03: 25:58

Yeah, we've had like 13 people at our house. Literally. And so I now, instead of my default being yes, I'm going, hey, let me actually look at my calendar and see what I have going during that time rather than saying yes and allowing myself to be extremely overwhelmed having people in our space. And look, we love our tribe. We love our people hard, which is why people want to come visit us. And I'm honored by that, truly. But the back-to-back visits are where we just get so burnt out and I get so burnt out. And so I am just being much more intentional with my yes and much, much, much more intentional with my no. And that includes like dinner dates and lunch dates and all of the other things that we get invited to do, which again is so cool. I love that we have such great friendships, but we are in a season of really building our business and finding our recipe and that requires us to again focus and batten down the hatches and in the past my Achilles heel has been like well I can do it all and I can do it all I just can't do it all at the capacity that I want to be able to do it and so I've got to scale back and focus on the things that really really matter to me and I think boundaries though they draw lines they equal freedom and they are what people with high self-worth establish and use regularly to to protect their energy. And again, in the past I have, in my other podcast, Self-Worth with Jacqueline Steele, I've talked about boundaries. I've had periods where I'm really good at establishing boundaries and very, I use them regularly and then I have periods where I just become really lax. And so my goal right now in this year is to really reset my nervous system and that requires having boundaries. really good boundaries so that I'm not in a constant state of stress or on the verge of burnout or in a state of burnout. Boundaries for me too are about reclaiming my heart and my life and my health. Again, I have just overgiven and I always want to be a generous person. I always want to err on the side of generosity, but at the same time, if I don't have what I need to function and I can't show up for other people. And so I have got to protect myself and really, really be consistent with my boundaries.

SPEAKER_01: 28:31

Yeah. Well, you're someone who gives so freely, and that's why so many people are... One of the many reasons so many people are attracted to you is because you... welcome everybody in with open arms and this energy that you are fully engaged with them and you speak to their hearts and people love that. So they're super attracted to it. So that's why in many cases you tend to... There are more opportunities for you to put up boundaries than maybe... You know, just for myself, whereas I'm not, I don't exude that, you know, like that, that same energy that you do that attracts so many people in a way that they want to, I don't want to say that they're coming to you for something. I don't think they recognize it as that. Yeah. But I feel like in observing that in many cases they are because you're filling their cup. Yeah. And people know that they love to be around you and they love to spend time with you. And that's a great thing. That's a great thing. But in order to protect yourself and protect your own energy, like you say, you have to have those boundaries.

SPEAKER_03: 29:49

Yeah, absolutely. And I love that. And I'm not going to change that. I love loving on people, truly. But I think what I'm realizing is my inner circle needs to be a tight inner circle. My inner circle doesn't need to be 25 people.

SPEAKER_02: 30:05

For sure.

UNKNOWN: 30:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 30:07

And I would say I'm good about like, it's not like I share my heart with absolutely everybody, but I do try and speak to people's hearts and that requires a lot of energy. So the podcast is another way that, It's an awesome outlet for me to be able to do that and still kind of protect my time and my space and my own well-being. Efficiency. It's much more efficient. That's the word we were looking for. In review, we have talked about establishing a baseline and paying attention to that baseline so that you can increase your capacity while still having high energy. We've talked about tools and tricks we love and how just the simplicity in life fills us up. It doesn't have to be anything complicated. We've talked about boundaries and why they are so important in maintaining and increasing energy. And now we're going to talk about a little trick that I've been using recently, which is called this week will be successful if. And I just write this in my planner. So I started asking myself this question weekly. And I write it out when I'm planning out my week and it gives me a baseline. So it's You make your list and you check in with it every day. Are you on track? How are you tracking your goals? And when you track them and you feel the energy that comes up when you are on track to accomplish what you set out to accomplish, it feels amazing. So in my planner, I'll say, this week will be successful if, and I'll write out the things. So when I wrote this podcast episode, it was, the floors are finished at Via Secreta. The doors and the windows are finished at Via Secreta. Our podcast episodes are finished and I am done outlining the project, the writing project that I'm working on. And so did I accomplish everything on that list? Pretty much. I didn't finish the outline for the writing project, but I started it and I got good amount into it. And this holds me accountable. It also, at the end of the week, when I feel like we have done so many things and been all over the place, it helps me to go, Hey, I really, really accomplished a lot or, Hey, you know what? Maybe I could do things a little bit differently next week. And so it keeps me on track. It holds me accountable. Um, and it helps me again to establish that like business baseline. Do you have anything else you want to add to that?

SPEAKER_01: 32:29

I think that what it also does, one of the biggest things that it does for me, and I've been a list guy for a long time now and started my week with the short-term goals for the week, and one of the biggest benefits that I've found is it tells me when I can stop. Because without that visual representation of checking those boxes and having that list end, I feel like I got to go find other stuff to add to, you know, to keep going and keep going. But if I can say, this is on Sunday, this is what I'm setting out to accomplish this week. And then by the end of the week, all or at least most of those are checked off. It means that I've been successful and I can, you know, take a breather over the weekend for a little bit. So I think that that's one of the biggest added benefits is it's like a stopping point to now go and do, some of those things that we talked about previously that fill your soul and give you space.

SPEAKER_03: 33:34

Well, caveat to that is don't let filling your soul be the last thing on your list.

SPEAKER_01: 33:39

For sure. And that stuff should be on the list as well. It's not just work.

SPEAKER_03: 33:44

Yeah. Have it be built in because we don't want to give the impression that we only rest or we only take time for joy when we've accomplished everything on our to-do list. That is not the case. And I would say there are seasons for everything. I am somebody who in the past, again, has felt like, well, I can do it all. I can handle it all. What I've realized with maturity and my 37 years of experience now is that there are seasons for everything. We're in a season right now where we just have a lot going on. And so we need to be super intentional about the boundaries. We need to be super intentional about taking time for space and joy and taking time to just keep our heads on straight. But there are also seasons where things aren't so busy. And so we can spread out a little bit more. So I think taking into consideration what you have going on in your life and not holding yourself to a standard that is, what's the right word?

SPEAKER_01: 34:43

Unattainable.

SPEAKER_03: 34:44

Unattainable. Yeah. You want to set yourself up for success. Don't set goals that are so low that you can surpass them in a day, but also don't set goals that are so high during a super busy period of your life that will set you up to be disappointed. You know what I mean? I'm such a fan of pushing our capacity and pushing our boundaries and fulfilling what we are capable of fulfilling in this lifetime. But I don't think we should do that at the expense of our mental health and stressing ourselves out all the time or beating ourselves up for not reaching a certain amount of things in one day. It's a long game. Hopefully we're here for a long time. And so again, I think it's important we pace ourselves and we don't beat ourselves up. We do what we can, we work hard, but then we also let stuff go if we don't quite reach what we need to reach.

SPEAKER_01: 35:43

Yeah, I think those boundaries... the boundaries don't just apply to other people. They apply to yourself too. Well, mainly they apply to yourself, but I mean like even when it comes to your schedule boundaries around this, this is the, a lot of time, um, you know, that I'm going to focus on work and this is the, this is family time and this is me time. Those sorts of, those are all boundaries that, um, you need to create and that we need to create and need to stick to and, and, You know, those are the ingredients to the recipe, right? So you need the right amount of each of those in your day to create the life that you're looking to create.

SPEAKER_03: 36:23

I would say in this last pillar, I'm going to add something to it. So the last pillar is make time for joy. We've had as a review. Establish your baseline and pay attention. Tools and tricks we love. Why boundaries are the sexiest thing you'll ever create. This week will be successful if... And then number five is make time for joy. And I'm going to put comma and put your phone down.

SPEAKER_02: 36:44

For sure.

SPEAKER_03: 36:45

Put your phone down. My phone is automatically on do not disturb from 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. And I don't look at my phone when I wake up other than to check my sleep score. Okay. I don't think it's healthy. I don't think it's a good way to start your day by scrolling. I think you need to be in charge of your day. And I think if you open up your phone and you start being reactive immediately, it's like your phone is in charge of your day instead of you. So making time for joy. I'd say if you don't know what brings you joy at this point in your life, I want to give you a giant hug, but make a list of things that fill your cup. Small to big and create space in your calendar for them daily. Again, it doesn't have to be something that's going to take three hours. If you are a mom with young children, that is a big ask, right? But you probably have five minutes here and there, 10 minutes or, you know. whatever, you've got to build in things that fill you back up. Maybe it's doing a five-minute meditation or journaling for a few minutes or taking a walk with your kiddo and just letting it be quiet for a while or turning on your favorite podcast. Imagine what your life would be like if you were living from a filled-up heart. And that is, to me, the ultimate recipe is living out of overflow Rather than in a state of burnout or having your tank only be 25% full. I want my tank to be 100% full and more. Yeah. So make space for joy. Make time for joy. Make it a priority and put your phone down. The phone is just a giant distraction. Yep. Okay. Question we're going to end with, Sam.

SPEAKER_01: 38:40

What boundaries do you need to set to reclaim your energy?

SPEAKER_03: 38:43

All right, y'all. See you in the next week. Thank you so much for listening to The Freak Show with Sam Thurmond and me, Jacqueline Steele Thurmond. We would love to connect with you via our website, beckonliving.com, and on social media.

SPEAKER_01: 39:00

You can find us on Instagram and TikTok, at Beckon Living, and you can join our email list to receive uplifting messages, podcast and business updates, and discounts on high-frequency products just for our freaky community. Cheers to high-frequency living.

UNKNOWN: 39:14

Cheers.

SPEAKER_03: 39:31

Thank you so much for listening to The Freak Show with Sam Thurmond and me, Jacqueline Steele Thurmond. We would love to connect with you via our website, beckonliving.com and on social media.

SPEAKER_01: 39:40

You can find us on Instagram and TikTok at Beckon Living, and you can join our email list to receive uplifting messages, podcast and business updates, and discounts on high-frequency products just for our freaky community. Cheers to high-frequency living.